I’ve felt like this more often than not. Every time I think I’ve found ‘my people’, I never seem to actually be part of the group. I’m always on the sidelines of every group, and it occasionally brings back memories from my teenage years and it terrifies to think I’m still the same person somehow; that people just don’t like me or pick me to be in the team or group, or whatever it is. It’s sad, but hey. You’ve raised a great point about re-defining modern friendship.