I recently turned 28 and I decided I should yadda yadda yadda, let’s go.
1. Always take a jacket with you even if it’s not cold, because you never know.
2. The only acceptable time to fake an orgasm is when you’re re-enacting that famous scene from When Harry Met Sally.
3. There’s a time and a place for everything, except when it comes to putting your finger in someone’s mouth when they’re yawning. Never miss a chance to do that.
4. You can be an atheist and still believe in Celebrity Heaven.
5. The best way to fight writer’s block is to do some editing. There is always editing to do.
6. You are not in competition with anyone. Unless you enter one. In that case, you are.
7. Etsy is cheaper, but Redbubble has more niche stuff.
8. If the concept of family is the only thing binding you to your otherwise toxic family, then that’s not a great testimonial, is it?
9. You can have a petits-filous as an adult.
10. Don’t feel pressured into talking to people in an elevator.
11. You’re allowed to mourn a dead celebrity.
12. November 1st is the acceptable date to start putting up Christmas decorations and playing…
